succulent sixteen...

 

It is the 31^st of March. Today is Renae’s sixteenth birthday.   I have not forgotten.

 

I call her up. I have not talked with her on the phone since the week before I won the Young Columbus. The day I broke up with her. The day she wished death on me.

 

Somehow I just feel that Renae will have me back. Somehow I feel that if I can elucidate to her that I had to sacrifice my unbridled barometer of lust 

 

When I call up Debbie don’t call me Mrs. Howard answers the phone. She recognized my voice. I ask if I may please speak with Renae.  She tells me just a minute.

It feels like I wait three-quarters of a neglected lifetime.

She picks up the phone and says hello.

"Renae hey, this is David."

There is a pause. After thirty seconds she says hello very meekly.

'Hey, listen, I know we parted on bad terms and everything but I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday. Happy sweet 16."

 

There is more of a pause. Renae begins to talk. She doesn't seem elated to hear my voice as somehow I thought she might. She is telling me about accumulating her license. She is talking about David Best like they are new found Best friends. She is talking about Laura and Amy, the friends I had through her that I lost after we broke up. 

 

“And I was first in line this morning at the DMV and I took the written test and got my license. Dad’s been letting me use the firebird all day. I’ve already picked David, Laura and Amy up and all we did was just go to the mall and just cruise.”

 

She tells me that her grandfather gave her a hundred dollar bill.

 

I tell her that it’s not like she’s never driven her father back from the bar drunk before.

 

            She refuses to reply. It seems like she doesn’t want to hear my voice. There is more pause.

 

“Well, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday…” I pause, ever since Renae wished death on me she has yet to inquire anything about my life. “That and to tell you that I’m really busy getting all packed and everything for London.  I leave in thirteen days. Everything seems surreal.”

 

Renae refuses to comment. A gravid silence sips between us. I feel impelled to say omething significance and important.

 \

“Well maybe now that you have a vehicle we could get together some time. I mean, it’s been a while. It seemed like when we were dating that we never got a chance to really see each other. It’ll be good to see you once again.”

 

Renae tells me that maybe then tells me that she’s really busy and then tells me that she needs to go she wants to show her drivers license like an unblemished report card to Kristi’s mom.

 

“Okay, well, I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday. May this year sate the wildest wish of your every waking dream.”

 

Renae responds to my thoroughly rehearsed poetic blessing by saying okay and bye very quickly before my ears register a click and then the nasal hiccupping drone of someone who has hung up on the other end.

 

I look at the itinerary. I wonder how Renae’s body might have felt like in mine.

 

 I wonder if it would have felt like spring.

 

I wonder if it will feel like Europe come two week time.