Temple of Light




While working on the Music Man arc of Pinta Parade I have a dream. I am in a vernal park with electric green hills and I am Charlie the Anvil Salesman only I am the current age I am now and I am with the cast and co. of CCT music man and we are holding a giant drape about the size of a football field or a giant American flag and we are trying to pitch a tent in this bucolic utopia so that we can have one final encore performance at the end of time. I am surrounded by Tommy Dijalis and Mayor Shinn who I will learn years later via social media is now a pastor. Anthony is next to me and he is flapping the drape so that it creates cosmic ripples in the center of the tarp. We are trying to erect a theatre for our final production. I see Eulalie Shinn and she is talking about her irksome bunion and while blathering on about Balzac. There is Zaneeta who is Ye Gadsing out of control and there is Couri and Jenny and men I have never seen before wearing diapers and wings flanking them on both sides and there is Stacia, refulgent, dressed all in white and glowing like a keyhole to heaven.  All of us have our assigned positions around the gargantuan contours of the tarp and all of us lift the fabric at exactly the same time only when we do we fail to erect a tent which Anthony refers to as a temple of light.  The fabric falls down flaccid. Rather than offering encouragement everyone is yelling and bickering and pickalittle-talk-alittle at everyone else. Anthony is attired in his Harold Hill conductor uniform which is really a Manual high school drum major outfit and says lets try this again and everyone flaps the sheath of fabric in a billowing snap and lifts only again it falls short. We try it one more time. I am looking around the geometric configuration for people I have lost and while there is no sight of Andrea or Dawn I notice next to me is Little Betsy. She is wearing knickerbockers and the derby cap she wore in the show only there is something different about her I can’t quite put the proverbial finger on just yet.  We all inhale as a collective integer and lift the tarp one more time, this time higher than ever. The tarp forms the shape of either a light bulb or a balloon. It hovers above us. Below us it is now visible that the ground the tarp was concealing there are phallic shaped pillars and acropolis like formations and its pretty clear that this is the stage we are to be performing our encore performance on.  The tarp overhead is hovering and it begins to glow and turn white, the color of Stacia’s unblemished attire. I look at little Betsy and smile and when I go to lift her up notice that she harbors a heart shaped package below her waist and an Adam’s apple in the center of her neck and, if I look, I can see that she looks exactly like I did 22 years earlier and then I discern rather cathartically that it is me and that I am near sighted cause I have my glasses doffed, cause I want people to notice me, cause I want to be accepted and loved and just as I walk towards  myself dressed in little Betsy attire I let go of the hem of the tarp and the entire fabric falls dead like a picnic blanket over the city of Pompeii and all of my fellow actors and actresses are bitching, they are screaming at me. They are calling me a fuck-up. They are asking why, even all these years later, I can’t do anything right. They are saying that I almost had it, the temple of light erected in which we were to perform our faretheewells and then  I hear Pam screaming at me, ripping into me, calling me Charlie, asking me why I ruined it for everybody.

Asking me why I can’t do anything right after all this time

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