new years eve

I am at my Uncles New Years eve party. My aunts house is directly across the cul-de-sac from my grandma's brick abode. The same zip code of my girlfriend. The holiday lights still heavily flicker in variegated applause. Upstairs as if always the case the piano is playing, songs are being sung. The Young Columbus contest is in three weeks and soon I will follow the yearly routine of standing in front of the music room mirror with notecards in paw, gesticulating in front of an imaginary panel of judges the reason I feel I am best suited to have earned an all expense paid trip to England. As it is with my family there are twin cardboard boxes of wine and non-alcoholic beer in the fridge.  We are watching movies. Everyone is watching Batman Returns downstairs.

 

 

I feel I should be with Renae. I feel I should be next to her.

 

 

Renae’s house is less than two miles away. Without asking permission I pick up the phone in my Aunt’s basement and dial the number in rote fashion.

            Kristi answers the phone.

 

            The sole delegate of the itty-bitty-titty committee sounds elated that I am on the opposite end. The whole gang has congregated at Renae’s. Amy and Lee and Tim and Kriti and Sarah and David.

 

            “We can’t wait to see you Dave,” Kristi says, “When are you coming over.”

            “Soon,” I say. Hopefully soon.

 

            “Is Renae around?” I ask.
 
                                                                         ***

 

 

 

 Renae tells me that everyone is here. She tells me that they actually watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail twice. She tells me that that is the coolest gift ever. I look down. I left the orange collar of my Manual Cross-country jacket. I look at the  manacle of the identity bracelet she gave me and of the confirmation ring with the initials DVB scribed inside.

"Listen, I don't think I'll be able to make it. I just have this family thing."

“I’m not surprised, you always say you are going to come and then you never do.”

            I tell her that I am sorry. I tell her that I wish I could have made it.  She tells me that she was just really looking forward to seeing me on New Years and to kissing me at the gong of midnight.

            “We’ll see each other next week.” I say adding at the mall.

 

            “Yes we will.” Renae adds, her emotional temperature changing telling me that she cannot wait.

 

            I ask if I could talk with David real quick. When he gets on the phone I ask what everyone is doing.

"Having group sex." he says.

There is laughter in the background.

 We drive home at 1 am. Now that the grand piano is moved I am asked to move into the music room, one room over, away from the yellow light of the window next door and the bodies roving back and forth.  School starts next week. This  Friday I am suppose to meet Renae at the mall.

 

That Christmas My Uncle Albert gives me a cool CD by Maureen McGovern.

 

“We went to see Mel Torre when he was at the Civic center and she stole the show." My Uncle says. My Uncle is cool. He is friends with Bob of Bob and Frank and attends their parties.


I place the CD my Uncle bought me in my Cd player and think about how Renae's lips tasted like a ring pop the last time we kissed.

I wonder what it would have been like to usher her into the dawn of a new year with my lips.

I wonder when we will kiss again.

I enter the New year all alone.