It is our last day of school before a three day weekend. The last day of the grading period. Grades will be posted next week. It is the completion of the first six weeks of the semester and already my GPA is wounded. I am all but certain to get twin C’s in Peabody’s and Cool Joe Thomas class. I have never gotten a C in my life.   Coupled with my athletic injury Mrs. Peabody has made me all but stop caring about getting off on the no-pun intended tight-proverbially foot while entering the annals of my high school career.

After school tonight we leave for Mattoon. I have not run all week. Physically it is the longest I have gone without running since I was in fifth grade.

Monday there is no school because of Columbus. 1992 is the so-called 500th anniversary of Columbus’s voyage.  Two movies have already been released detailing Columbus’s sojourn. Both flicks have exponentially flopped. One features a gourdish-nose French speaking Gerard Depardieu portraying Christopher Columbus. Both movies feature new world natives who are topless and displayed as obscenely heathen and uneducated.

 

Coach Manna assays the class up and down. Aron Rothman is still acting up and talking in the back row as he has done every day of the school year.

 

Coach Mannaoni discusses Columbus day with class. The football team is undefeated and

He looks back at Aron who is making Arm pit noises and trying to say that the person in front of him just farted.

 

“Aron, why is it paradoxical to believe that Columbus discovered this continent?”

 

Aron says that he did discovery it. Coach Mann shakes his head. He looks my direction. Coach M always looks in my direction and lets out a smile.

 

“David, please, enlighten us.”

 

I hate when Coach Mann does this. I hate when he puts me on the spot.

 

The classroom is silent. Even Aron Rothman has momentarily suspended torching us with his arm-pit induced sonatas.

 

‘It is fallacy because Columbus really didn’t discovery anything. There was already thriving civilization and different City-structure. A lot of what Columbus discovered he actually pillaged. His proclamation of a new land actually decimated a civilization that by all accounts was flourishing.”

 

Coach M smiles. He says good job. Patrick gives me fighter pilot thumbs up.

Aron looks behind me and says if Columbus didn’t discover America who did before stating Your momma.

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