I call Renae. As is always the case the first time I call her
phone is always busy because, unlike David Best, she doesn’t have two-way
calling. I wait five minutes. I go into the bathroom, fill up the porcelain
basin and dunk my all the way into the sink to wear water is shooting up my
nose and bubbles are plopping past my cheekbones. I lift up my head. I refuse
to look at myself in the mirror. I refuse to acknowledged the reflection
planted in front of me of the being who has failed in everything he has ever
touched in this lifetime. I want to call David Best off and tell him to fuck
off. I want to call David Best up and tell him that for the last six-months all
it ever seemed was that he was trying to hook me up with Renae Holiday and now
that are dating he feels emotionally impelled to go behind my back and raise
hell.
When I get back into the room I dial the number again.
It is still busy. Out of reflex I dial the number of my former best friend.
His voice picks up on the second ring. I can tell he is talking to Renae via
two way calling.
I hang up the phone w/out saying a word.
***
“ But I asked her out.” I tell David Best.
“I think she just thought you asked her to go with the mall with you sometime.” David Best notes.
“Oh,” I say.
***
I exit the front door of the only house I have ever known once again.
I have nowhere to go.
When I still see what I think is Tina’s car parked the opposite direction in front of Marge’s house I back circle and go down Cedar, taking a right at the house the size of a Doc Marten shoe box where the vagrants live who look like pirates with their red bandanas and volcanoes of vacant beer cans littered in the front yard. I walk past the pipe-fitters house with the bartender wife and 30 cats. I walk past the house I went to court over after their Rottweiler chased me two years earlier. I still have a subtle hobble. Coach has informed me that we are not taking any chances this time. Coach has informed me that he doesn’t want me running until this Wednesday before the Regional meet.
If I can place in the top five individuals that are not on a top five team I get to run in Sectionals.
I get to stay alive one more week.
The sky is an aching jigsaw patch of denim lavender.
I am still walking. I have no clue why
my Best friend had to turn against me. I have no clue why there was this
gravitational silence hiccupping between myself and Renae.
I stop by Bob and Frank's house even though
they have already paid. They always have a pot of coffee brewing. They always
answer the door with the smile. I need someone to talk with. They are not
expecting me. Even though the last time
I stopped by they were watching football and commenting how hot the butts were.
I knock on the door with the wide porch and emerald
carpet. There is pause. I knock again , the door opens. I see his eye in the doorway.
I pull open the screen door and walk inside. I see Bob he is laughing.
He is not wearing any pants. His penis is dangling between his thigh’s like a clamp to a bell.
I look at him with shock. When he sees me he cackles
his head back and starts to laugh.
“Well you caught me with my pants down!”
Bob is laughing again. He is just wearing an under shirt and socks. His penis is dark skinned and looks like plump trice-dried venison jerky.
Bob holds the screen door open and I enter. I see the Dottie West prints on the wall. I feel uncomfortable. I am trying to avert my eyes.
Bob is laughing again. He is just wearing an under shirt and socks. His penis is dark skinned and looks like plump trice-dried venison jerky.
Bob holds the screen door open and I enter. I see the Dottie West prints on the wall. I feel uncomfortable. I am trying to avert my eyes.
“I’m sorry We didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
Frank is laughing. I don’t know what to think. Both Bob and Frank our
always laughing. Like my cool English teacher they are always jovial. They are always
in a good mood.
Bob is telling me again that I know how these things are.
Bob is telling me again that I know how these things are.
“No, no.” I say, looking at my shoes laces. After hearing my purported Best friend tell
me that the girl I like wants nothing to do with me I need someone to talk to.
With all their eccentricities Bob and Frank somehow have always been there.
Bob is stepping into his pants. He asks me how my
girlfriend is. The one I had the date with. The one they offered to give me
rubber sweaters if I needed them.
I don't know what to say. How do you tell someone that you just broke up yet you never really dated.
I don't know what to say. How do you tell someone that you just broke up yet you never really dated.
“Well you know how these things are.”
Every time Bob and Frank say something they laugh. I
smile back Bob is stepping into his pants. Frank is taking a drag off a 100s
cigarette.
“hey, did we forget to pay you last week?”
I tell him yeah. I want to be social. I want to fit
in even though both these men are close to forty years older than I am.
“I just thought I’d stop by to see Bob naked.”
The two of them explode in laughter. They ask me if
there is anything they can get me to drink.
“Coffee.” I say, mandating that it is black and to
keep it coming.”
***
Finally I get a hold of Reane. Finally she picks up.
Finally I can quit going into the bathroom every five minutes, fill the sink up
with tepid water, dunking my head under as if I were bobbing for the proverbial
apple Eve offered her spouse.
There is silence when she picks up. The last time we
got off the phone was less than 24 hours ago.
I was beaming. I looked like a fucking Christmas light.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her over the phone, from the other end I can feel the flesh above her lips curve upwards, I can see the sunrise of her cheeks dapple in blush.
“There’s no worry.” She says,
I tell her that it is just like I like her quite a bite. I tell her that I love being around her. I think about the odor of her skin.
She tells me that she feels the same.
***
“I applied and they told me to come back so I came back the next day. They said if you wanted to get a job at caterpillar in those days just go back day after day til they know you by name.
They ask my if I am okay. I thank them for letting me come over and hang our. I tell them that nothing is working out. For about a nanosecond a month ago I was competing at the level that I had been aiming for all summer.
***
***
The voice on the other end of the phone clicks empty without inquiring my identity. Without saying goodbye.
***
The coffee taste funny. More cough syrupy than caffeinated.
When I ask he tells me it is Irish coffee
and then smiles.
I take
several swigs. The room is beginning to transmogrify into a carousel. I see the
stage they are working on for the purported Club Thirty, named aptly because
the older cousin Frank anticipates retiring from Caterpillar after 30 years.
Frank tells me that he started working at
Caterpillar in 1962.
“I applied and they told me to come back so I came back the next day. They said if you wanted to get a job at caterpillar in those days just go back day after day til they know you by name.
They ask my if I am okay. I thank them for letting me come over and hang our. I tell them that nothing is working out. For about a nanosecond a month ago I was competing at the level that I had been aiming for all summer.
Bob and Frank are not facetious. They are not saying cry me a
river. They seem demurely concerned about what I am going through.
“Then I got this stress fracture which I ran on for
two weeks which only compounded it. Then I have these two teachers at
Manual—one is masochistic mathematic teacher who looks like a poodle, the other
is a Biology teacher who has not taught once and perennially chides us for not
taking good notes.”
The coffee is syrupy. When I ask what type of coffee
it is Bob states that it is a special Hawaiian blend and then laughs.
I laugh too.
It’s hard not to laugh when Bob and Frank are around.
“Then yesterday I ask out this girl from Limestone
who I’ve been head-over my cross country cleats in love with and have been
hanging out with her periodically for
the last three months and somehow, a person I always equated with being my
childhood best friend called her and said Lord-knows-what to her and now I’m
all alone.”
Before I know it the coffee cup is being replaced.
Before I know it the room is spinning.
Before I know it Frank is massaging my left shoulder blade and talking
about there’s no reason for me to be so tense. The room is spinning. It is changing shapes and colors.
I wonder why Bob answered the door without wearing
any pants or underwear.
***
Everything I say Renae is saying yes to. Its is like
when we are driving around and her parents are at the wheel and she is always
looking out the side window. She is reticent and reserved.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to confuse your are
anything like that.”
Renae tells me that I did not confuse her.
She is quiet. I have no clue what she spoke with
David about. It sounds like she is snorting.
“We’ll, I guess I’ll see you around then, I really
did enjoy being with you, for what it’s worth.”
Renae says yes. She guesses too.
I tell her that I’ll see her one more time.
Renae doesn’t even wish me goodbye.
***
I wake up an hour later on Bob and Frank's Couch. I don't know where I am Frank is nowhere in the room. Bob is sipping coffee.
"Well hey, you okay. You just sort of passed out for a little bit."
I tell him I am fine. I tell him I need to get going since it is Sunday and it is school tomorrow. I ask where Frank is. Bob says he decided to go upstairs and take a bath.
Bob thanks me again for coming over. I thank them. I tell them it's nice to have friends.
When I get up I notice that the front of my jeans are unbuttoned and my zipper is halfway down.
I wonder if I went to the bathroom and forgot to button up when I went back to the couch and passed out.
It has been a long weekend.
I have a subtle headache.
It's hard not to laugh when Bob and Frank are around.
***
I wake up an hour later on Bob and Frank's Couch. I don't know where I am Frank is nowhere in the room. Bob is sipping coffee.
"Well hey, you okay. You just sort of passed out for a little bit."
I tell him I am fine. I tell him I need to get going since it is Sunday and it is school tomorrow. I ask where Frank is. Bob says he decided to go upstairs and take a bath.
Bob thanks me again for coming over. I thank them. I tell them it's nice to have friends.
When I get up I notice that the front of my jeans are unbuttoned and my zipper is halfway down.
I wonder if I went to the bathroom and forgot to button up when I went back to the couch and passed out.
It has been a long weekend.
I have a subtle headache.
It's hard not to laugh when Bob and Frank are around.
***
When I get back home I call Dawn Michelle .I want figure out why nothing in my life is working out, I want to ask her how she handles shit. I want to know if she is still getting drunk and going our and going down on long-haired boys.
I want to ask if maybe there is a chance we can get together in the next couple of weeks and just hang out, maybe go to Monicals pizza in Westlake center where she always goes with her speech team, orders a salad and drinks coffee and smokes.
A female voice picks up the phone.
“Hello, may I speak with Dawn Michelle?”
There is a pause.
“I’m sorry Dawn doesn’t live here.”
“Oh, I’m sorry I must have the wrong number.”
“No. This is Dawn’s number. She moved out this morning. She no longer lives here.”
The voice on the other end of the phone clicks empty without inquiring my identity. Without saying goodbye.
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