Lord Mayor of London....

I am seated in the auditorium of Guild Hall and I am next to Sam.  He is smiling.

It just won’t be a dignitary meeting if I weren’t seated next to Sam.

“Sam, when I look back on this trip twenty years from now I’ll always smile thinking I sat next to you during every perfunctory dignitary meeting.”

Sam smiles back, he tells me that at least we didn’t have to wear a tie at this one.

He says the word eh. The Young Columbusians' who are not ferrying magi type gifts for the Lord Mayor of London are sitting in clusters.  The Big Ten monopolizes the last row and has to warning by Trevor to get their feet off of the chairs in front of them.

I feel sad for Mark. Mark is never morose and he seemed distant and depressed in the foyer.

“Hey where’s Vinny? I saw him talking with the hotel concierge or whatever this morning."

Sams lips form into a button. A lanky member looks next to him and swipes hi head.

“We’re not sure. He was contacted by Eric this morning and they were talking to someone at the front desk and they gave him a note and then he just started shaking like crazy. He then walked with Eric back to the elevator and he didn't get on the bus with us."

“So is Vinny gonna be alright?"

 Sam remains silent for a second. Because of the way he is seated he looks like he is pondering while taking a calculative dump. More students are filtering in. I see Moran the Minx and Rose. I see who Mark has described as Rachel Green. I can't fathom why Mark christened Moran a minx since they are both beautiful people who looked like thoroughly choreographed Verscae models dancing on the River Thames last night.

"I mean, he always has his eye wedged in that camera. He wasn't filming anything he wasn’t suppose to, was he?”

"Except for a couple of girls he filmed showering.” Sam says. I think he is being serious until Sam stammers in with his signature chuckle. 

“We’ve all been thinking what could he have done. I mean, the hotel concierge had to speak with him and the next thing we know he is being carted away as if he were a felon.”

There is something rather medieval about the room.  It feels more like we are  attending a Dungeons & Dragons convention than meeting semi-British royalty.

The last Dignitary meeting is ready to begin. It is the Lord Mayor of London.  Sam barters a smile back at me. I am looking around. Mark is seated with several members of his group. Oddly there is no sight of  Tamera or Sheila.  Several kids who are purportedly on bus two sit down in front of us that I swear i have never seen before.

It is impossible to meet everyone on this trip.

 

There is a sense of we have already reached the pinnacle of the trip. There is a sense of Been-there-done-that.  The polite boy from Alabama whose name I will learn is John is seated primarily in the same row as Our Wendy and the rest of the Intellectual Titans.  I wonder what would happen if in the middle of the Lord Mayors of London's speech bullets would come zipping through the stainglass windows and MI-6 would arrest us based on media fabrications alone.

From the side of the room the Lord Mayor appears. Several of the British people in the room bow as if they hemorrhoids.  

 
There is applause. Three rows up from me I see Rose and Heath both wearing sunglasses indoors. Harmony's group is still seated together and Ahlex looking over then like she is guarding Maiden Heads.
 

The Lord Mayor is lanky. He is not as arrogant as the US ambassador whose smile reeked of kickbacks and expensive dental work. I am seated with the Big Ten. Justin and Spencer and Chris all have plaques to hand to the mayor. Spencer has a giant plaque configured in the shape of Utah. A girl from Minnesota from harmony's bus  has been handing out plaques shaped like her state.

I try to look for Harmony carrying her chunk-o-rock art, a gift from the good people of Spokane Washington.

The Lord Mayor of London is perhaps the most affable of the three dignitaries we have met so far. He is given the introduction and then Liz Madigan, as she has for the previous two Dignitary outings. He has a little chalky moustache skirted above his lip. His hair is slicked back and is shinny. Evey second I wasn’t daubing Harmony’s coat this morning I spent on my hair and somehow his hair is more shinier than mine. Liz Madigan has the same look on her face as she has when she has introduced every dignitary.

Harmony is last in line. She is holding the chunk of rock as if it were some sort of Kryptonite. There is applause. I see Simone with her group as one pre-teen just always seems to get her first period and seems confused. Liz Madigan uses the word Little World Travelers as she states that several YC'ers have gifts from their home states.  Justin gets up and for the third time rehashes  the same speech about a gift from the people of Nebraska City, Nebraska.

I turn to Sam. 

"Honestly Sam in a way I am going to miss hearing my roommate espouse the integrity of the good working class people from Nebraska city, Nebraska.  Several more YC'ers present gifts.  I wonder out loud how the hell can Elias Das still have Amarillo Texas pins to pass out ten days into our venture.

Sam shushes me. He then points.

Walking on the stage is Harmony. Sam has his mouth open. Her voice is soft yet she is assertive in her speech.

“Man, your girlfriend sure is pretty.”

 

I tell Sam that Harmony is not my girlfriend. Sam immediately volleys back a question. He asks what are you guys as if he is diagnosing some previously unknown subgenus. He tells me tahat you guys seemed like really close on the dancefloor last night.

 

I am trying to listen to Harmony in her speech. She exudes with confidence.  She is stating that this is a sculpture by a local Spokane artist carved from the ashes of Mt. St. Helen.

 

"Your giving me a piece of Helen?”

The Lord Mayor of London warbles back. Harmony seems coy.

“Did you realize that Helen was the impetus for one of the Histories greatest conquest the Trojan war."

He has been shaking Harmony’s hand the entire time. He is digressing. It’s like he doesn’t know where he is at. Harmony is pumping the Lord Mayor of London’s hand up and down like she is playing slots at a casino. Hamrony looks completely lost on stage Last night Harmony told me that in addition to her paper rout she works at Dairy Queen but only on the weekend to pay for her cello lessons.  The two-sheets to the wind Lord Mayor of London pulls a Vivian and says yes quite right followed by I dare say the Trojan War, which is one of antiquities most venerated and lauded epics of all time, which commenced as I’m sure you remember, by the abduction By Paris of Helen of Troy.

The Lord Mayor is weighing the artifact Harmony just presented to him in his right hand as if he is ready to drop it off the building next to an ostrich quill as some sort of experiment having to do with gravity.

“Yes, the Torjan war and now I dare say was started with the abduction of Helen by Paris only if Helen was as radiant as you, I dare say, my dear, Homer would have needed at extra volume to his corpus because he war would have lasted a decade longer fighting after your fair hand."

The Lord Mayor continues shaking Harmony's hand.

"I think he likes her," Sam says to me giving me a little elbow rub.

I tell Sam to shut up.

 Sam jests back and tells me that he thinks I may have competition for the creature.

"It appears," So I say to myself as the Lord Mayor of London nods examining the art circa Mt. St. Helens.

There is applause. I take my glasses off because for reasons I can't explain I don't want Harmony to see me in my glasses. 

Even with my spectacles doffed I can see what appears to be the Lord mayor of London kissing harmony's hand. 

Harmony is smiling.

We are a long way from home.